Friday, August 4, 2023
WOMEN ARE RETIRING POOR IN AMERICA
This is a repost of a post I wrote two years ago.
It has been updated to reflect any changes I have made in my life.
My Story
If you have read my blog for a while you know that I am a former counselor, but what you may not know is that I was a stay-at-home mom for much of my adult life.
Like many women, I chose to devote my time to raising my children.
It was what I had always wanted to do and I don't regret a moment of that, but what I didn't know is what would happen to me when my husband became seriously mentally ill and how it would eventually affect me.
In my mid-forties, I went back to school completed my last two years of college, and did three years of graduate school in counseling psychology.
I worked for several years, but I found out it wasn't enough. When I reached the age of 62 I took social security because I had crippling knee pain. I had both of my knees replaced but found that ageism is alive and well and I was unemployable.
Here is what I discovered about Social Security and why I was left living in poverty.
How Social Security Is Determined
This is where the problem arises for women who spent much of their adult lives being caretakers for their children and then often of their elderly parents.
Being Out Of The Workforce
Social Security Raises
My Continuing Story
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Tuesday, July 26, 2022
THE CHANGING ROLES OF WOMEN WITHIN THE FAMILY
As a woman, my role within my family has constantly changed.
Daughter, wife, mother, breadwinner, grandmother.
Often I have stepped outside of myself and looked at those roles as if I were an actor on the stage, taking directions on how to proceed.
Our role within the family can affect how we see ourselves as a person.
It is an ever-changing path that can wind back onto itself.
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As we grow, we become the person that others depend on.
Then as we age we may find ourselves once again dependent.
During all of this, we may swing back and forth between the roles.
Our roles are often based on the expectation of others and our interpretation of those expectations.
For example, as a mother, our children have the expectation that we will do certain things to take care of them.
Then as they grow up, their expectations change and we must adapt our role to their wants.
These role changes can lead to confusing feelings for us.
I am left wondering how you, as a woman, adapt to these changes.
Have the changes left you feeling unsure of your role at times?
Do you find the expectations of others in your family don't match your own expectations?
Or, have you been able to fluidly move from one role to the next without any problems?
Tuesday, July 12, 2022
TUESDAY THOUGHTS
I know that I said I was only going to write one post a week this summer, but that MRI machine keeps gobbling up my money.
So here I am.
Atlanta is very sultry right now.
It's typical Georgia summer weather with high temps and humidity.
The crepe myrtles are gorgeous right now and are one of my favorite things about a Georgia summer.
It has been a stressful few days.
Katy fractured her spine in two places on Friday reaching down to get the garden hose.
She has osteoporosis from all of the steroids she has to take and because she is premenopausal they won't give her the type of osteoporosis medications that I take.
I am hoping they will think of something.
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She spent Friday night in the ER and today we are going to see the orthopedic doctor.
Fingers crossed that she doesn't need surgery.
I have been doing some cleaning and purging and will be listing some of my things on Facebook marketplace.
Etsy has been very slow the last few months and so I am spreading my wings to see if I can create some more sales.
All of the printables in my Etsy shop are 40% off and I have started adding more gallery prints.
Friday, May 6, 2022
FINDING YOUR UNIQUE GIFT
Many people never realize they have a unique gift, a gift that is deeply ingrained in who they are, and makes who they are special.
So how do we find our gift and what do we do when we have found it?
We need to listen to what makes us feel truly happy.
I remember my late mom asking me if I didn't think that I had a gift and a purpose to help others.
Although I think I have fought this idea (possibly through ego) I think it is something I need to cultivate more.
I realize that by helping others I am giving my gift away.
What could be better than that?
Have you found what your unique gift is, and if you have how are you giving it away?
I found this article on the top ten ways to discover your unique gift.
It just might help you discover yours.
Simple Inspiration
Lovely Reads
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Gluten-Free Cooking
This is guaranteed to make the whole family happy.
Catching Up
Currently In My Etsy Shop
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Shopping
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Tuesday, May 3, 2022
GRANDMOTHERS ARE IMPORTANT
There was a time when it was the norm for extended families to live together.
It was a time when grandparents were an integral part of a family's day-to-day living. A time when an older generation was deemed to be a source for teaching life experiences to younger members of a family.
Although those days have primarily ended, does that mean that grandparents and especially grandmothers no longer are needed in the raising of children?
"Some scientists think women evolved to live way past their childbearing years so that in middle age, unencumbered by babies of their own, they can make sure their daughters’ kids thrive.
These scientists posit that back in the days before farming, young mothers were better able to keep their kids alive when their own mothers were around to help forage—an advantage that has been dubbed the “grandmother effect.” (source unknown)
Okay, so that is the theory for why we live longer, but what is our purpose in the family now?
Are we meant to take cruises where we play shuffleboard or hang out in bingo parlors?
Are we meant to pull up a park bench and settle in?
I agree with the author's thought that the importance of grandmothers has ebbed and flowed over time.
Maybe grandmothers were less important in the mid twentieth century when most mothers stayed at home, but the importance of grandmothers may be on the upswing once again.
I know that personally these last three years of living closer to my grandchildren has done so much for me and I hope also for my grandchildren.
As Mother's Day approaches this week I realize that our jobs as mothers doesn't end when our children are grown, but continues on to the next generation and in many cases the generation after that.
There is no replacement for love, and grandmothers have an endless amount of that.
Happy Mother's Day to all of my fellow grandmothers.
Friday, April 29, 2022
MOTHER'S DAY THOUGHTS
Simple Pleasures #37
Ready or not we are zooming into May.
Just where does the time go?
We are a week away from Mother's Day and that brings about thoughts of all of the mothers that have been in my life and what it means to be a mother.
"A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills, and abilities to make it as a competent human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience." (source)
I remember growing up and wishing to be a mother and when I became one I remember all of the feelings that went with it.
Love, fear, and wonder were all mixed in together.
Being a mother to my two daughters has been the greatest honor of my life.
Mother's Day is a celebration of mothers, but we should celebrate mothers every day.
Simple Inspiration
Lovely Reads
Gluten-Free Cooking
Catching Up
What I'm Reading
This is the dilemma facing the four grown Delaney siblings.
Shopping For Mom
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