So many conflicting emotions running through my brain these days, and I feel quite certain that I am not the only one.
I feel adrift and stuck between being thankful for all the wonderful things that I have, but at the same time feeling restless and stuck in a rut.
It's kind of like what is happening in nature outside my apartment. On one hand there are still summer flowers holding on for dear life,
but on the other hand fall is taking over, and winter is just around the corner.
I know just how Mother Nature feels. Like everyone else in this country I am sick of the pandemic and the restrictions that we have to live with. I want to open my window and scream out into the world, "go away you evil monster", but the pandemic doesn't care how I feel or what I scream out.
I spent Thanksgiving day alone this year. I watched the parade on television, which by the way I thought was one of the best parades ever, and when Santa came on I clapped, cheered, and danced along with him alone in my apartment because he brought about a sense of normalcy.
I know that we will return to a more normal world at some point, although it may not be exactly as it was before. We will get vaccines and although things will be difficult for millions of people, I know that if I do my part by wearing a mask and social distancing, I am doing what I can to help stop the spread until that happens.
In the meantime I am thankful for the things that I have. I saw my family briefly on Wednesday. I took them turkey and in return they gave me delicious side dishes. I think I got the best deal.
My apartment is decorated for Christmas and is feeling cozy. It makes me happy.
Now, about that rut. Only I can change it. I need to get outside and walk more, take on some of the projects in my apartment that I want to do, and breathe in life as life is now.
Sometimes we need to scream, and that is okay. Other times we need to just contemplate on our lives, and that is okay too. it's important that we take care of ourselves.
How are you feeling these days?