F Simple and Serene Living: transformations....going your own way 09 10
Thursday, April 17, 2014

transformations....going your own way

I am a woman and for most of my life I have been conditioned to be a caregiver, a pleaser, to listen to the choices of others, to follow the paths that others set out for me, to put myself second. 


It was as if I wasn't able to make good choices for myself. I was a girl child, a teenage girl, a young woman, a mother, and an aging woman. Through all of these phases there was always someone telling me how to live my life, and although I would attempt to rise up and rebel, my voice seemed muffled. 

Do it our way they would say. We know what is best for you I would hear. Don't try that you will fail. 


So I would take one step forward and two steps back. It was as if there was a tune playing in my head that only I could hear, but I was trying to dance to the tune that others were playing, and their tune was drowning mine out. 

What I have learned is that we can never be full happy if we are living our lives according to someone else's wishes. Yes, we will most certainly fail at times, but we will be failing on our own terms, and through those failings we learn who we are. We learn to pick ourselves up and continue on our own unique path. 


It is never to late to follow your own path, and some of us start much later than others, but by listening to your inner voice you will learn just who you are. You will learn to spread your wings and fly. You will learn that your path is uniquely yours. You will find your voice. 



 

18 comments:

  1. Being a 'pleaser' most of my life, I so get this. Once I realized I needed to find me, my own voice, my own style, my own life I then became a whole person.

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    1. It is definitely important, Linda. We have to realize that our own happiness is just as important as everyone else's.

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  2. Good for you to break out and do what is what is good for YOU! It takes a while to figure that out sometimes but so important when we finally do. Yea you and congratulations!!!!! You are now on a journey of fabulousness:)
    ~Debra xxx
    Capers of the vintage vixens

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  3. Beautifully written Laura, love your thoughts. Blessings, Pam xx

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    1. Thanks, Pam. It is so nice to hear from you.

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  4. That's good encouragement. I feel that our lives can take many paths. It all has to do with what phase of life we're in. I'm in the "raising my kids" phase. Who knows what I'll be doing after I'm done with that. I guess that's the mystery of life and keeps it from feeling stale.

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    1. It is definitely ever changing, Kelly.

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  5. I had to physically move to another continent to get away from my controlling family. A different and much healthier environment allowed me to see how bad it really was. I visit every five years or so and it is sad to see them try to exert the same old influence. They still get thrown by my resilience.

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    1. Isn't it amazing how people are so unwilling to give up their control. I hope I don't have to move to another continent :)

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  6. Laura, I've heard that when we become woman of a certain age, it's like we suddenly realized what is important to us, and are less fearful of reaching out to get it. I"m a fan of better late then never. You rock.

    Jen

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    1. Thanks, Jen. It certainly leaves everyone else scratching their heads when we break out :)

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  7. I agree with Jen, Laura. I wish young women would read this post and not be afraid to stand up for what they want and know is right. Even concerning doctors, my parents were in the generation who obeyed unquestioningly. At least my generation questions more, but it really wasn't until I got older that I dared use my own brain and not just do as I was told.

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    1. My mother will still do what her doctor says no matter what. Drives me crazy. I hope that younger women are learning sooner than we did that they need to follow their own path.

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  8. Hmm...story of my life. Still...nice photos !

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