It was as if I wasn't able to make good choices for myself. I was a girl child, a teenage girl, a young woman, a mother, and an aging woman. Through all of these phases there was always someone telling me how to live my life, and although I would attempt to rise up and rebel, my voice seemed muffled.
Do it our way they would say. We know what is best for you I would hear. Don't try that you will fail.
So I would take one step forward and two steps back. It was as if there was a tune playing in my head that only I could hear, but I was trying to dance to the tune that others were playing, and their tune was drowning mine out.
What I have learned is that we can never be full happy if we are living our lives according to someone else's wishes. Yes, we will most certainly fail at times, but we will be failing on our own terms, and through those failings we learn who we are. We learn to pick ourselves up and continue on our own unique path.
It is never to late to follow your own path, and some of us start much later than others, but by listening to your inner voice you will learn just who you are. You will learn to spread your wings and fly. You will learn that your path is uniquely yours. You will find your voice.