Monday, February 29, 2016

Do you ever wake up in the morning thinking "I am ready for a new beginning"? 

I have been waking up every morning for a while with that thought on my mind. 

You may have noticed that I have been absent the last week. My internet went out last Monday night and was out for most of last week. 

It meant that I was only able to access the internet through my phone. I finally was able to get someone out here to install a new modem on Saturday, but while I had limited access I was able to think about my life and my life's plan. 

Like many women, I have spent a great deal of my life as a caretaker. I think that we often don't realize how much caregiving we actually do and in the process how much of our own lives we give up. 

I have been feeling that my life has been in limbo for quite some time. There are things happening in my family that I am not able to share because I don't want to violate their privacy, but in the meantime, I have stopped living my life, and I realize that I actually stopped living my life a long time ago. 

So the question is not only how do I make a new beginning, but how do I find myself again. 

I made a start last week by calling one of my best friends, Karen, from childhood. We talked for three and a half hours. Isn't it amazing how time can just drop away and you still have such a great connection with an old friend? 

That conversation made me realize that I am still me. That "me" may have been hidden away, beaten down by life, but she is still there waiting to come out and have a new beginning. 

I am looking forward to blooming again just like the flowers in this post. 


  1. Ooooh, good luck with the surgery! I hope all goes well and that you can sleep well afterwards. I know the kind of friendship you mean, where when you reconnect, it's like no time has passed. That's the best kind. xo

  2. Wish you a quick recovery, and vitality for the new chapter!

  3. Wishing you an easy surgery tomorrow Laura - and you are so blessed to still have friends from your childhood in your life - they do remember the 'old' us don't they? The ones before we got smothered in taking care of everyone and everything else.

  4. Prayers for a good surgery. I often feel like my life is in limbo but I just keep moving forward as much as I can. I feel at the mercy of others right now.

  5. Prayers for you and your procedure. Maybe it will go better this time.
    It is hard to live your own life when those you care about are in a crisis. As a mom or caregiver you can't help but put your life on hold. After my kids were raised and helping with their kids, there isn't much time. Dealing with a special needs adult child and a failing mother I feel drained. I am slowly letting myself once in awhile. I hope you can find peace soon. Yes, you are still you.

  6. All the best for your surgery! And I am happy you have been able to reconnect with an old friend and realise that you are still YOU.

  7. I haVe been a caregiver most of my life and now at age 65 I want to begin again. My son and x husband who live in this town are toxic to me. My daughter is wonderful but I should not live my life through her. I still have a small barn of family things to go through. I'd like to move, find a nice church where I would fit in and help out. I am grown and yet I have no idea what to do next. Anyone with ideas would be helpful.

    1. Rita, I have a free workshop on one of my blogs that takes you through steps to discover your "dream life" and how to live it if you are interested. It might help you discover where to begin with your "new life". Go to

  8. Laura...many thoughts and prayers for your dental procedure coming up.

  9. Beautiful

  10. Good luck with your surgery! I hope it goes well. I hate when I have computer problems or internet issues. I'm sure you are glad that yours is fixed now.

  11. I completely understand your situation Laura. I was a care giver for 14 years and when it all ended two years ago I felt lost and alone. Anything that you give your heart and soul to for many years, changes you in ways you don't expect. Give yourself some time. Be kind and gentle with YOU. I think you made a very good decision when you called a childhood friend. Stepping back into your childhood for a bit can help you to discover your path before it was diverted by life. Good luck with your oral surgery. I pray it will all go well. Feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk. I am just coming out of my own feelings of emptiness.

    Big Texas Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

  12. Good luck on your surgery, Laura. So glad you got your internet up and running again. Hope your recovery is a quick one.

  13. Seems that's a role that a lot of us women go through...taking care of children, then find ourselves taking care of aging parents. While I'm not there completely (taking FT care of elderly parents - so far, we just help out my mom and FIL here and there), I've seen some friends and relatives in these situations. I've seen how physically and mentally draining it can be. I hope you can find small ways to be extra good to yourself...naps, yoga, meditation, a hot bath, a walk in nature, sitting in a coffee shop for a little while, going to the library...whatever calls to you. I hope your dental surgery went well. I know that's something that terrifies me, so my heart is with you.

  14. I hope you will recuperate quickly from your dental surgery! Take care.

  15. Much of my life in retirement is helping my Mom and then helping out with grandkids. I love it, though I DO take time to do the things I like to do even if they are simple things. I've come to realize that it is ALL my life. Just having people to care for can be a blessing. I hope you can find space and time for yourself. Calling an old friend can do wonders! Praying for a speedy recovery from your dental surgery.


All verbal donations to my comment box are gratefully accepted. It is free for you and priceless to me. Please note that comments with links will be deleted.