Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I have been having a crisis of faith in myself. I find myself berating myself for everything I perceive that I have been doing wrong, and as I have allowed this negative talk to go on, I find my faith in myself spiraling downward. 

The negative speak we hear from others can definitely affect our self confidence, but when we internalize these words and then turn around and speak to ourselves with the same or even worse words, it can be devastating. 

So how should we be speaking to ourselves?

I was the hand me down child in my family and was spoken to in that manner into my adult life. I allowed that to seep into my soul and it is how I learned to speak to myself. It became my belief system, and the way I have spoken to myself has become a self fulfilling prophecy. 

This morning as I sat in my bed listening to the early morning sounds around me I realized that I wouldn't  speak to someone I love the way I have been speaking to myself, and shouldn't I love myself first?

We all have failures and hopefully we learn from those failures. So today and from now on I vow to brush myself off and to treat myself more gently. I vow to speak to myself the way I would speak to someone I love. Instead of berating myself, I will give myself encouragement. I will start fresh.

I will speak to myself with love. 

Speak to yourself with love too, and see how it can change your life. 


  1. I've been learning to be gentle and kind with myself too over the years. We don't need the harsh messages playing anymore.

    Wishing you a beautiful day, Laura!

  2. Good message for today, Laura. Very good one. I definitely am in the same boat at times. Thanks for the reminder to be gentle with one's self. Susan

  3. hand me down?
    I once complained that my mother never made any clothes for me.
    And it was explained that after making most of the clothes for my 3 older sisters, when she got to the laatlammetjie she BOUGHT the clothes. Now I cherish a jacket she knitted for me when I was all grown up ;~)

  4. Great reminder and definitely something I need to work on. I am very hard on myself and send too many negative messages.

  5. A great post today, Laura. We all need to be more gentle with ourselves.

  6. That's such a good reminder. It's hard if you are around those that bring you down. But it's something to strive for and I hope you are both surrounded by those that encourage us to be our best. Sweet hugs, Diane

  7. I wonder if that is part of our generation of women, Laura? I am harder on myself than I am on ANYONE else! I beat myself up for "slipping" and eating something I shouldn't...or berate myself for opening my mouth when I should have kept quiet. It is a terrible spiral we put ourselves in when we do that. I am trying to get better at loving myself gently, too. xo Diana

  8. Your posts are always a bright spot in my morning emails Laura. And this one is no exception.

    Why is it that we hold ourselves to such high standards and don't expect to be treated the same as we treat others? Maybe because if we did there would be conflict among us. Where if we treat ourselves that way we don't complain...

    Always food for thought...thank you.


  9. Just found out you are from Ky.

  10. I have talked with several women in my life near our age. They are disappointed in this time of life. The first thing I had to do was to admit to myself that I was too. And then change my thoughts. I had a general idea of how things would go over time. Bump in the has not. Somehow I turned that into negative words spoken to me from my past and that I am undeserving etc. I am part way there..I have changed my thoughts. I have a new plan and I work toward it. If the bigger thoughts don't work for now I work toward something smaller. It is helping me to let myself know that I am deserving and will succeed just differently than I thought.

  11. Laura,
    This is happening to many of us in this age bracket. Just yesterday I had lunch with a friend and we both agreed that the life we had envisioned and the life we were living were not in sync. I don't know why this is such a transitional age. I went for a long walk today, to reset my thoughts and it helped.

  12. I've heard that you can't love others if you don't love yourself first. Self love is important. I'm all about that but don't mistake it for putting myself above others. While it's good to feel good about yourself and treat yourself well, it's equally be good to be humble.


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