Do you ever wake up in the morning thinking "I am ready for a new beginning"?
I have been waking up every morning for a while with that thought on my mind.
You may have noticed that I have been absent the last week. My internet went out last Monday night and was out for most of last week. It meant that I was only able to access the internet through my phone. I finally was able to get someone out here to install a new modem on Saturday, but while I had limited access I was able to think about my life and my life's plan.
Like many women I have spent a great deal of my life as a caretaker. I think that we often don't realize how much care giving we actually do and in the process how much of our own lives we give up.
I have been feeling that my life has been in limbo for quite some time. There are things happening in my family that I am not able to share because I don't want to violate their privacy, but in the meantime I have stopped living my life, and I realize that I actually stopped living my life a long time ago.
So the question is not only how do I make a new beginning, but how do I find myself again.
I made a start last week by calling one of my best friends, Karen, from childhood. We talked for three and a half hours. Isn't it amazing how time can just drop away and you still have such a great connection with an old friend. That conversation made me realize that I am still me. That "me" may have been hidden away, beaten down by life, but she is still there waiting to come out and have a new beginning.
I am looking forward to blooming again just like the flowers in this post.
P.S. I am having periodontal surgery tomorrow, and as this isn't my first rodeo, I know that I may be in pain and cranky for the next three days. So I might be a little absent again. Hope you will bear with me. Can't wait to get back to visiting more.