F Simple and Serene Living: WHEN IT ALL FEELS WRONG AT CHRISTMAS 09 10
Wednesday, December 9, 2015

WHEN IT ALL FEELS WRONG AT CHRISTMAS

Everything seems wrong. It is the Christmas season , but it all feels so wrong. It seems there is nothing but bad news. I sat here last night and said out loud to myself that I wish Christmas could just be over. 



I don't feel festive.
I don't feel like celebrating. 
The small tree that I managed to drag out has half the lights burned out and I just sit staring at it. 
My grandchildren will be in Georgia and I will be here.
I want to make this a nice Christmas for my mom because it may be her last, but I can't seem to find the Christmas spirit. .

So what do we do when it all feels so wrong at Christmas. Thanks to Jen for finding this suggestion and posting it on her Facebook page.

advent calendar giving
source

I have started to gather together some items to donate to the food bank. No matter how bad things may seem there are so many people who have mush less than we do. 

I wasn't sure what items would be good to give so I looked around for some suggestions. Food items of course, but also consider other items as well. Personal care products, women's hygiene products, and diapers are all good suggestions. 

Homeless shelters also look for donations. If you have time to make up some individual bags, here are some good ideas for filling them.

christmas charity homeless giving personal packs

Oh, and don't forget the children. I am going out today and purchasing a new unused toy for Toys for Tots.

Christmas is the season for giving, but I believe that all year should be the season that we give to others. 

When we give to others we are also giving so much to ourselves. 

Suddenly Christmas doesn't feel quite so wrong anymore.

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36 comments:

  1. I think that is a wonderful idea, the best!
    Christmas seems to bring more sadness as we get older they say,, I think we focus too much on what was and not what could be,,I have been guilty of this,
    Feel better soon my friend,,

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    1. Thank you, Laurie. My sister is here visiting form Arizona for a few days, and we have been talking about the importance of focusing on the present.

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  2. I find too that reaching out to others turns my 'lights' back on. There is something about giving that sets things right, isn't there? A lovely idea for an Advent basket.

    Wishing you much joy as you fill your basket for others...
    Brenda
    xox

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    1. Wishing you joy too, Brenda. I am enjoying turning my lights back on.

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  3. What a wonderful idea of the reverse advent calendar. I've shared on facebook, I hope it goes viral!

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  4. A great idea! I plan to write a post on the "other side." Feelings of sadness instead of joy at holiday time. So common. I decorate, but I no longer buy gifts. Haven't for years. I give to others throughout the year. My children are grown, but I will take my grandchildren to the bookstore just after the holidays, our tradition. I don't want gifts at Christmastime. I have what I need. Commercialism has taken over, unfortunately. And I find that the saddest commentary on society of all.
    Brenda

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    1. Commercialism has taken over and so many do seem to have forgotten the true meaning of the season. I like your tradition of taking your grandchildren to the bookstore after Christmas.

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  5. I am so sorry to hear that you're feeling blue this Christmas. I have been there before. A few years ago when my son was in Marines boot camp I felt the same way. It didn't feel like Christmas while he was gone and I couldn't talk to him. That was the hardest part. I would walk around the stores and see all of the decorations and just feel sadness instead of happiness. I fully understand. I remember taking down our decorations the day after Christmas that year (which is a tad early for me) and being glad it was all over. All I wanted was my son to come back home. Well he's back home now and life has gone on. Now I have adjusted to him living on his own! I look back at the difficult time and now realize it was a learning and coping experience for me. I believe that all challenges in life are! It "sucks" to go through it but you will be better after having survived it. I'm glad to know that you've found something good to do for others during this time. Maybe you can do "skype" with your grandkids on Christmas day too! That way you won't feel like you're missing them so much.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience, Kelly and I am so happy that your son returned home safely. I will definitely Facetime with my grandkids on Christmas day. :)

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  6. That is a fantastic idea, Laura. I think I'll use it along with what we're doing this year - which has to do with helping children in a Haitian orphanage, rather than piling on the grandkids, who already have far too much to keep track of. I love the idea of giving to others in need. It truly does bring the joy back into the Christmas season when we show real love to others in a tangible way. It is showing that they are not forgotten after all. Thanks for the good post. - Judy

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    1. I love that you are helping orphans in Haiti, Judy. Our grandchildren do have so much and it is important for them to learn the importance of helping others.

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  7. When I get down (and I do) I try to remember how blessed I am and that others have it so much worse then I do. Then like you I try to act on it. Soon, I'm feeling much better. Wishing you JOY my friend.

    Linda

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  8. I always feel better when I've given to someone else. I never had much to give when the kids were growing up but we would always visit the nursing homes. I always left crying because I was filled with such joy for helping someone else feel joy. They'd rather have the gift of time than they had lotions and powder and fruit that everyone seems to give just to ease their guilt. I like your idea very much.

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    1. The gift of time is one of the most wonderful gifts we can give. It doesn't cost us a thing and it can mean so much to someone who is lonely.

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  9. I'm sorry you're feeling so down, Laura. I know it's very common this time of year. I've only had one person - more of an acquaintance than a good friend - ask me (at a baby shower this past weekend) how I was REALLY doing this Christmas season. As I think you know, my oldest son passed away 6 years ago. I was really touched that she cared enough to ask me this.
    I always help others at Christmas...whether it be picking a name off a tree at a store; donating food to the food pantry (which I do year-round), buying a toy for Toys For Tots, helping someone I know personally (anonymously)...it does help to think of others less fortunate than ourselves. In our community, a man who owns a local business has really started community action this past year. He recently set up an area in the back of his shop for a small food pantry. Instead of grocery items, I am donating paper towels, Kleenex, and toilet paper.

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    1. My heart goes out to you, Melanie. I don't believe a mother can truly ever get over the loss of one of her children. You are a wonderful person in so many ways and I love that you give so much to others. You are truly an inspiration to me.

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  10. My heart goes to you , Laura, that your holiday will be spent without so many of your loved ones. But I hope you can cherish perhaps this one last year with your mom. Things amy look awful now, everywhere but I think creating a bit of festive atmosphere might reawaken your spirit. Heck, even a pine scented candle! :)

    Giving always makes us feel purposeful. Our church has been accepting donations of food and I've been clearing out my cabinets of duplicate items (how many cans of pumpkin pie and chicken noodle soup can you accumulate?!!). It's a win/win and makes you feel the spirit of Christmas. And you are a blessing to those lees fortunate.

    Love to you this holiday season.

    Jane x

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    1. My sister is here from Arizona for five days, Jane and we have spent it laughing and sharing. We took my mom shopping the other day and updated her wardrobe. She loved it and it made me happy to see her so excited.

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  11. Christmas is about giving and not always receiving. I think that is what makes us light back up when we are down. I am glad you are doing this reverse advent that is such a great and loving idea. Hugs.
    Kris

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    1. It is about giving, Kris and I think the older we get the more we realize that we just don't need as much. I love the reverse advent idea.

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  12. This is the time of the year when we all can suffer sadness. Yes, the news becomes more frightening every day. I have made a very conscious effort to limit the amount of news I consume each day. It's been the only way I have been able to cope. I agree with your idea of focusing on others. That's good advice not only for the holiday season, but every day of the year. When we look outside of ourselves, the path becomes brighter. God Bless you dear friend.

    Big Texas Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

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    1. God bless you too, Susan. I hope this is a wonderful holiday season for you, Bentley, and your husband.

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  13. I love that reverse advent calendar idea - I pinned it to a new board! Laura, you have the right idea - giving back makes you feel better, always. Big hugs to you - the holidays can be hard for those that are struggling. xo

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    1. Isn't it a great idea. So glad you pinned it. I hope more and more people will do this.

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  14. That's a great idea and a good way to get in the spirit of Christmas. Sending you holiday hugs my friend, Diane

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  15. Looking at your little tree with the burnt out lights...I was just watching Little Women on Amazon last night and this reminded me of that....your whole post did. The downside, then the upside...the girls, poor as they were, sending their special foods to the sick neighbor, etc.

    I remember Christmases past being horribly down when either my family or my sisters had the flu and Christmas was 'ruined' / this reminded me of those times too.

    I used to have so many Christmas albums and then cassettes / long gone now but I found Three Ships by Jon Anderson ( of Yes ) on You Tube and there is such a spirit of Joy in that...I've been listening to it over and over again these last few days, yet one day one of the songs hit me and I burst into tears but it's the kind where you do that a heartwarming movie / sometimes it all has to come out

    Hugs.

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    1. I have a CD of the Riga Boys coir singing Christmas carols. It really soothes me and helps me feel the spirit of the season. The tears can certainly help us when we are feeling down.

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  16. What an amazing idea! I am sorry you are having trouble finding your christmas spirit, it is weird here in NY too without any snow and weather in the 50's, almost 60's. I have been feeling the same way lately but I find that I just have to keep the cheer alive by doing Christmasy things!

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    1. My Christmas spirit is somewhat better now. I understand about the weather. It is 70 degrees here this weekend. I am warm weather loving person though, so I am loving it. I know that it can't last forever.

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  17. Seriously, I can't wait for Christmas and New Year to be over and to be back home in my small Cottage. I know it's selfish, but I'm too tired to try to be polite today. I'll be better tomorrow!

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    1. I understand completely, Magali. It is a very stressful time of year for many of us.

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  18. Please ignore my comment on your other post Laura. For some reason, when I clicked 'home' it brought me there so I thought that was your last post.

    This has been a tough year on so many different levels. It sounds like you've found a way out of the doldrums. Giving to others, whether it's those we don't know, or those that we do, such as your mom, always brightens our spirits.

    We too will be alone this Christmas. We are heading south and will be in our RV, most likely the Savannah area on Christmas Day. It's all good though.

    xxx

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    1. I hope your Christmas trip to Savannah is wonderful, Doreen. I've been thinking that maybe next year I will go away somewhere for the holidays.

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