Yesterday was one of those days. I was out of sorts. My legs ached. My eyes hurt. I was tired and just plain cranky. I was feeling my age.
There is no denying the fact that I am 63 years old, and although most of the time I still feel like I am 20 on the inside my body tells me something different. I am aging and with that aging comes changes that are both physical and emotional.
We live in a society that judges people by their youth and their physical appearance. This is especially true for women. Let's face it. Ageism is alive and well, and it affects our self esteem. We are often ignored. Younger people look through us as if we don't exist. We are denied jobs.
My eyes have been hurting.....a lot. I am going to the opthalmologist in a couple of weeks and I know that I am going to have to get glasses. Glasses that I may have to wear all of the time instead of just for reading.My first thought was "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" Where in the world did that come from? It was buried somewhere from my childhood.
I wonder to myself why I care so much about my aging looks. My grandmothers looked like grandmothers. They wore sensible shoes, their hair was gray, and they didn't seem to worry about what others thought of their appearance. They seemed happy with their aging selves. Would they have been as accepting of their aging if they lived in today's youth oriented society?
I thought my grandmothers were perfect. I saw them through my child's eyes. Yesterday as I slogged through my day, my phone rang. It was my own 8 year old granddaughter. She called to tell me about the exciting things that are going on in her life, and before she hung up she told me she loved me. It made me think that maybe, through her eyes, I look perfect.
Smiling, I went to pump gas, and as I was filling the tank a very nice looking man looked over and smiled at me.
Hmmmmm!!!! Maybe this aging process isn't so bad after all, but maybe I should just know that it isn't all about seeing myself through other's eyes, but liking who I am through my own eyes.
P.S. You should also check out Claudia at Mockingbird Hill's post on the stranger looking back at her in the mirror. You can read it here.