I had my day all planned out Friday. Get up, answer all your wonderful comments, work.....
At 5:45 in the morning my phone rang. It was my mom saying the ambulance was coming to take her to the hospital. I jumped up, woke up my sister, threw on some clothes, and headed out.
We had been down this road several times in the last year. My mom having chest pains and nausea and nothing showing up. This time we finally got to the bottom of it. She has a stone the size of a hen's egg blocking her bile duct. Yes, she had her gall bladder out many years ago, but she still forms stones.
The stone was too large to remove without surgery and they considered her too high risk, at age 89, for that. So they decided to put her under general anesthesia and put in a stent. Before they took her back the doctor told me that it was possible she might not survive the procedure. So I kissed her, told her I loved her, and said she would be fine.
Then I prayed and for the next hour I thought back on the relationship I have had with my mother. For most of my life it has not been easy. She resented me from the time I was born, for reasons I will not go into here. She has said many cruel things to me in the past, but I have forgiven her and moved into the present. She is almost 90 years old and she needs someone she can rely on. That someone is me.
We have many decisions to make and many things to take care of. The stent will not last forever so we have to decide a plan of action. There are also legal things we need to take care of and plans that need to be discussed for the end of her life. These are not easy things to do, but as we age so do our parents. They are no longer our caretakers, we are theirs.
I know that many of you are also dealing with the care and loss of your parents. My father passed away almost 18 years ago. I still miss him. I'm not sure that missing ever goes away. I am hoping that my mom will be with us for a good while longer. That we will have more quality time together.
I have asked God many times over the last few years why he keeps sending me back to Kentucky when I obviously have wanted to be somewhere else. I think I have my answer. Being here is as much for my healing as for hers.