F Simple and Serene Living: betrayal 09 10
Friday, November 16, 2012

betrayal



This is the hardest post I have ever written and I wasn't sure if I should share it, but it has been eating me up for months and I am in such extreme turmoil.

What do you do when someone you thought was a friend betrays you? 

Let me start from the beginning. Three years ago I left North Carolina to move back to Kentucky and help my mother. I also needed help because I had lost my job and was unable to find another, so it was a good situation for both of us. When I left, I planned to put all of my things into storage, but a friend asked me to leave them in a room in her house and pay her. She was also having financial difficulties and needed the extra money. I agreed and also added her onto my phone bill as part of the deal so that she wouldn't have that expense. 

A couple of months ago I tried to contact her to let her know I needed to come to North Carolina and pick up my things. I have tried several times through the phone and emails with no response.  She continued to cash the checks I sent her. 

I then googled her and found that her daughter and her family are now living in the house. So I sent her a certified letter, which she has not picked up. 

I think she has sold my property. We are talking about everything I own, including my family's heirlooms and my daughters' baby pictures. I am devastated. I know these are hard times, but I would never do this to someone.

Today, I am having her phone cut off and then I have to decide if I should press charges against her. I have receipts for all of the payments I have made to her. This is not something I want to do.

What would you do?

Laura




 

33 comments:

  1. She's no friend. I can't imagine someone doing this to another person. I am truly sorry for you but I don't think she has left you any other options. :(

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  2. Oh, Laura. I am stunned that someone who called themself your friend would do this. Oh, my goodness. I can see why you feel so betrayed and violated. I'm so sorry. I know you will have to do what's necessary, but nothing will change your loss or erase that sense of betrayal. Again, I'm so sorry. hugs and blessings ~ tanna

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  3. Laura ~ That person was no friend to you. From what you have told us you were her cash cow. I am so sorry that you have lost all of your family heirlooms and your pictures. These cannot be replaced. I don't think that she has left you any other options, but to proceed with legal proceedings. I just cannot believe that anyone would do something like this. I'll be thinkig about you ~ (((Hugs)))

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  4. I what a horrible thing to do to a so called friend..which she is not. I hope by some chance you can get your things back. I hope things get resolved and we are always here to listen. take care.

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  5. OMGosh, Laura. What a horrible experience. Is there anyone up there that you still know that can actually pay her a visit (as your representative)? Don't panic yet! She may not have sold the stuff but she may be using it for family. IF worst comes to worst and she has done that you might have to take her to small claims court to get back what she has taken from you...or sold.
    I have had friend betray me and am in the midst of that right now in a way. I have turned it over to God because there is nothing I can do to change who she is.

    I am so sorry this has happened to you. Let me know what happens- xo Diana

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  6. Oh Laura. There are some posts that just stop me in my tracks - and this is one of them. I am so sorry this has happened...and to think that she had been a trusted 'friend.' It was the right thing to do to cut her phone off, and now you have to do what you must re. pressing charges. Will it help get your things back? I will be praying for you as you struggle with this decision. This is a tough one.

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  7. Well that really stinks. You need to get to her house and find out if she actually sold your stuff before you can do anything legal like press charges. Are you still sending her checks? She must be opening that envelope if she's cashing them. On the next check write on the face of it: I need my stuff back. Call me or I will turn off the phone service. This way if she cashes the check, you KNOW she saw your note.

    Keep copies of all emails you sent to her. Keep the receipt for the certified letter. Get to her house and get your stuff. You may have to have the sheriff or police go with you. Why is it when you are trying to help someone else, YOU end up being the bad guy? This sucks!

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  8. I'm so sorry that you are going through this experience. I pray that God will give you wisdom in how to deal with it.

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  9. Laura,
    I am so sad for you.
    If she has sold your personal belongings, her act is beyond betrayal.

    Have you been able to monitor her phone activity since she has been part of your phone plan?

    Is she still alive, and could it be her kids that are cashing your checks? Do you think that she could have an illness that you may not be aware of?

    It's all so suspicious.

    If you have sent personal checks, and not money orders or cashier's checks, you may wish to talk to someone at your bank...the last thing that you want is to have this person or her family have access to your personal checking account number.

    It's good that you wrote about this. It's important for you to know that you have a support system here in blog land.

    The ice skates arrived. They are more special than I imagined. LOVE THEM!

    My hopes and prayers are that your personal items are safe, and that there is a rational solution to this circumstance.
    ~Lynne
    w/L.

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  10. Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry. I hope you're able to find some answers, and some peace.

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  11. Laura, what an awful betrayal of someone you thought was a friend and you were helping her out as well. I hope that she hasn't sold your things and that there is a way to get them back. Do what you need to do and I'll be praying things turn out well for you.
    Hugs, Barb

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  12. Oh Laura, what a mess, but look at the comments, such good and honest advice from everyone.

    That woman is no friend, I am so sorry for her betrayal.

    Jen

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  13. Boy, so hard to believe this could have happened. I think if you want to go to her house you might be able to go the Sheriff's Dept and ask for someone to accompany you there. It's worth calling them and asking before going there by yourself. I'd just be concerned for your safety in light of the circumstances.

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  14. Needless to say, I’m angry anyone would ignore your attempts to contact them while accepting your generosity. You may have to hire a representative of a security firm to ascertain your belongings are still intact. May you continue to continue to find strength here among your supporters, Laura.

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  15. Oh you poor dear, what a dreadful terrible thing to happen, especially as so much of your stuff was heirloom level. I do hope she has not sold or got rid of them, I do hope you find a way to recoup all your losses... All we can do here in blogland is offer our support and hugs in a very very trying time... All the best Janzi

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  16. Laura! hi! 1. go to the home and double check if stuff is gone with a police escort. 2. put a lien on her home. 3. we may be seeing your case on Judge Judy (sorry to make light but it fits her style). 4. pray, pray and pray some more that you haven't lost your things and that it can be resolved.

    i'll pray for you, too. so sorry, girl. so sorry.

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  17. So sorry this is happening to you. I can just imagine how sick this makes you feel. It sounds like you are taking the right steps. Since she has not contacted you back, you must proceed (and probably very quickly) to settle this matter. Get the authorities involved.
    Sending some hugs,
    Cindy

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  18. I would press charges. That is theft, pure and simple. If you have receipts, you can contact a lawyer and get the ball rolling. My god, why would anyone do this to a friend? Times are tough, yes, but not that tough. Take action right away, Laura. If you need to talk, email me.

    xoxo
    Claudia

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  19. Now I know what you were speaking of yesterday about being betrayed. Being betrayed by someone you trust is always unfathomable. Do whatever you have to do to possibly get your things. No one wants to press charges against a friend. But she stopped being your friend a long, long time ago. I'm so sorry.
    Brenda

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  20. Know that your "blogging friends" will be backing you all the way in whatever you decide is the best course of action. We're pulling for you!!!

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  21. How hurtful!! As if you weren't under enough stress already!

    I would hold off a little on pressing charges, though. Remember Joe Friday, "Just the facts, m'am!" It may come to that, but you need a few more facts.

    You have strong circumstantial evidence that she sold your stuff, but in criminal court, the prosecutor would have to be able to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. (Civil court is probably not your best remedy--sounds as if she's judgment proof.) Do you have other old neighbors that you trust who know when she moved out and her daughter moved in? Any chance of contacting the daughter or a mutual acquaintance to find out where she may have moved?

    Maybe contact a private investigator (you can't play Nancy Drew while running a business and caring for your mom), initially just to locate her. Meanwhile, keep copies of all the cancelled checks and make a list of everything you'd entrusted to her for safekeeping. If you have photos of any of the heirlooms, that would be helpful. Would she sell stuff on EBay? To a consignment shop? Pawn shop? Antique store? You have to be able to document at least one sale, I think. Otherwise she can say she's still storing it for you.

    How awful!

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  22. This is so awful it's unimaginable. Your heart must be just broken. Even if they used somethings I hope all your irreplaceable family is not gone. I agree with everyone that you need to take action but I'm thinking also that you should have a sheriff or someone with you for your safety. What a wonderful blogger world this is-I hope everyone's support gives you some comfort. You'll be in my prayers.
    Ellie

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  23. Unfortunately, she is not your friend. I, personally, have had to take a step back from several people that I THOUGHT were my friends. When times get tough, the real friends stick around. I'm very, very sad for you! Hang in there!

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  24. So aweful! Are you able to go back and see her face to face? Even have police escort to pick up your items and if they are not there then it is documented? You have really be through it all!! Hope there is a turning tide for you!

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  25. Oh my gosh. I am so sorry to hear this. Could something have happened to her and somehow the daughter has been cashing the checks? I really hope your possessions are still somewhere safe. Best of luck in getting to the bottom of this mess.

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  26. Hi Laura,

    First time here and your latest follower. I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you and can't imagine all the feelings that are swelling inside you. Betrayal is a harsh pill to swallow especially since in a way it must feel like she took a big part of your life from you. You are brave and I hope it all turns out well for you.

    Lynnie

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  27. Oh my goodness! OK, let's see. The first thing you really need to do is to confirm that she sold your items. Do you know anybody who could check, while taking an officer with them in case there's an altercation? If not, can you call local law enforcement and see if they'll go over and speak to her and see what she has to say? You really want to make sure of what has happened before you press charges. They may also be able to check local pawn shops to see if she's brought anything in recently and, if so, what it was. They probably won't give you that information but they will to the police. Since you cut her phone off, you may hear from her, but I doubt it. If you go there, take a police officer with you. It will let her know you're seroius and protect you from any problems with her. I really hope that she hasn't done this to you! You certainly don't deserve such treatment! You are a very generous, sweet person - how dare she! Good luck, keep us informed and please know that you're being sent positive thoughts and love. Hugs, Leena

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  28. Hello Laura,
    I am so sadden to hear this...this is just awful. I hope you can get it all taken care of and i pray that she didn't sell your things.

    Blessings,
    Linda

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  29. Laura my heart breaks for the betrayal by a so called friend. I hope that you can find some of your things and get them back. Do what you must to make yourself be able to move forward! Big hugs, Linda

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  30. Absolutely revolting. I would press charges for sure before she does something like this to someone else. I am really sorry you lost your things. Some of course are replaceable but many are not. Very sad.

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  31. I am so sorry this happened to you. I have been praying for you and my other blogger friends. I hope there is a satisfactory conclusion to this big mess. I'm praying that the good you do will come back to you, like in the scriptures.

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  32. My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine. The loss of family treasures, but also the trust in a friend that may weigh heavier. Feel better soon and remember what Anne Franks said about always having faith that there are good people everywhere.

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  33. Laura, I am so sorry this happened to you. I haven't been by for a while, and had to backtrack from your recent post to see what was going on. What a horrible betrayal. Heirlooms are precious. My prayers go out to you.

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