"I'm coming to join you, Elizabeth"..... and no, I am not talking about Fred Sanford's wife, Elizabeth. I'm talking about my grandmother who passed over 30 years ago. You see, you can now add percocet to the growing list of medications I will no longer allow to pass my lips anytime in the near or far future. It has now been 7 days since my surgery and up until this afternoon, I thought I was going to be joining my grandmother and other wonderful relatives in that better place. I kept telling everyone that I was dying and they didn't believe me, although my mother said I definitely wasn't my usual charming self (well she didn't exactly use those words.)
I called up the lovely nurse at my doctor's office this morning and told her I thought maybe I shouldn't be taking percocet, because I felt like I was going to have to call the undertaker. In her ever so calm manner she said "what do you mean?" Well, I think I mean that I feel like I am dying. "Well did you take it in the hospital?" Um, I have no recollection of being in the hospital. "What do you mean you have no recollection of being in the hospital?".......I mean I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF BEING IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!!! I assume from the multi colored bruises that are covering my entire leg, the huge ugly scar on my knee, and the fact I have no mobility in my knee, that I underwent some type of procedure that involved a hospital stay. I see, she said, "let me call the doctor". The nurse called the doctor and the doctor said...no more monkeys...whoops, I'm still a tad bit loopy. He said he thought I should go and see my regular doctor. Talk about passing the buck. Um, excuse me, but by the time I get an appointment to see my regular doctor and then walk the two miles back to her office with my walker, I will not only have passed over, but they will have sent me back.
My mother piped in here, in her sweet little grandmother voice, and said maybe they should have known when it took them almost two hours to wake you up after surgery that you can't tolerate much medication. HUH????? Well, in all fairness, they did seem to panic right when they were getting ready to roll me into the operating room and the anesthesiologist decided to look at my medical records and noticed that I had peripheral neuropathy. You know, he said, there is a slight chance that this could cause your leg to become numb and you might not get over it. HUH??? That's when my little 4 foot 10 inch mother jumped up and said you are not giving that to her. I did start to panic here somewhat, and that is when they began to throw everything but the kitchen sink at me. Sedative for the stress they were causing me, benadryl for the hives that broke out all over my face.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
So that was really my last coherent thought for the last seven days (yes I know I wrote a blog post two days ago, but who knows if I was actually present.) Now, though, I did the smart thing and took myself off percocet. HALLELEUJAH!!!!! I think there is a possibility the girl might live to see another day.
Oh, and that day includes physical therapy. You don't even want to know how that sweet little girl can bring me to tears.
BTW, I have 637 pages of emails I haven't answered, so if you haven't heard from me, that could be the reason.