I met up with an old friend a while ago and while we were having lunch she looked at me and said "Does your sister (who is older than me by the way) have as many wrinkles as you do? OUCH!! " I immediately became defensive and said, "well she is older than me and baked in the sun all the time, so she probably has more". HMMPH!!
I used to be a counselor, so you would think I would have better coping skills than that, but I am just as vain as the next girl, and my feelings were hurt, and it's hard not to care what other people think. (not to mention I immediately went home and started slathering on more Clinique moisturizer).
I follow a blog called Positively Positive. I like it because it gives positive ways to deal with life's
with a big frowny face and a defensive retort, take a second to reflect on something you really like about yourself. I like my twirly whirly hair, for example. It is so very me.
She also talks about how to hand out criticism (come on, you know you do it).
" "Before you criticize, start out with an affirmation, as in “You really have an eye for color, and I like what you did with the furniture. Though I’m not really crazy about the new bedspread.” By starting with an acknowledgement of what you do like, you are far more likely to avoid getting anyone’s defenses up, and increase your chances of having a reasonable, hostility-free discussion. Either way, you are probably stuck with the bedspread.' "
I like this. I have been working hard at using more positive "I am" statements about myself. You know the ones. I am smart. I am prosperous. I am happy......
It's amazing, but the more I use those statements, the better I feel about myself and the easier it is to cope with those unnecessary criticisms.
Let me say right now, I think you all are wonderful. I can't imagine ever criticizing you. After all. you do read my blog, and leave me wonderful comments, and I'm sure you love my twirly whirly hair. Don't you???